Why Now?

Revisited and Reviewed: My Thoughts on watching Oregairu 3 years later!

Why now? 

I haven’t written anything for this blog in 30 months, so why now?

I hadn’t watched Oregairu in over 30 months, so why now?

All of the characters in the show have their entire lives ahead of them, so why now?

If you haven’t picked up on the theme for this post yet, it is in fact the question, “why now?”. As anyone who has ever read this blog before knows, I have a lot, and I mean a lot, like an absurd amount, to say about this show. Well, I have rewatched it again and been reinvigorated to reattach my fingers and get back on the old writing horse. 

As school and work picked up I gave up on the whole writing thing, I didn’t have the time or the inspiration, but now facing my last and busiest semester I have once again been struck to rejoin the land of the writing. So, why now? I’m not really sure yet, but maybe, just maybe, by exploring the question in Oregairu I can get an answer to my question, while perhaps uncovering some greater truths of the mystery of life, and whatnot (I was feeling pretentious there for a second and need to bring it down a notch).

In season 2 episode 8, a little more than halfway through the show, our erstwhile (hah!) protagonist, Hachiman Hikigaya, is talking to his teacher, Miss Shizuka Hiratsuka, on a bridge. Why are they on a bridge, and to be clear it is not a pedestrian bridge, she has just pulled over her car to the side of (but not off!) the road. You see Hiratsuka has fortuitously come across Hikigaya as he has just left a discouraging encounter with Yukino Yukinoshita. At this point in the story the Service Club is falling apart and Hikigaya, Yukino, and Yui are trying to come to terms with their relationship. After the fallout from the school trip to Kyoto and the misunderstanding around the Student Council Presidential election, the club is on the brink of collapse. The stakes feel incredibly high as the group and their lives feel like they are falling apart. None of the club members can express their own feelings, nor understand the emotions of the others. 

To this conundrum Hiratsuka responds with a monologue about youth, time, and how just because something is not happening does not mean it won’t happen. Even if Yukino can’t change now, that doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t happen. All of their lives are just starting and there are still infinite possibilities ahead. After explaining all of this she asks a simple question, “why now?”.  

She wants Hikigaya to understand that the world and life will go on after now, after the club is over, but also that there are things that he can only do now. He has been agonizing over what to do and trying endlessly to find ways to solve every problem without hurting others or shaking up the status quo, but the reality of the situation is not that complicated. Hiratsuka tells him that there is now way to associate with people without someone getting hurt. She also tells him to embrace his emotions and by thinking about his emotions and what he feels, he will discover the answer to that question, “Why now?”.

This ultimately leads to his famous genuine speech, where he declares his intentions to Yui and Yukino and what he wants from the club and them. Ultimately this scene on the bridge and this question are the pivot point in the show and spur on the characters to charge towards the climax of the show. For Hikigaya the realization he has is that he wants his relationships to be genuine and that ultimately he wants to be the one with Yukino and the one thing that he cannot accept is a life that does not have her in it. (My poor sweet Yui.)

What makes this scene so fascinating is how it takes a common occurrence in stories, an adult telling a kid about how life is long and there is so much time left for things to happen and change, and twists it into a lesson on the importance of now. Hiratsuka is taking her life and experiences and using them to teach (praise be the teachers) Hikigaya and help him to learn and grow. It’s not about the result, but the process. What she cares about isn’t the outcome of the actions that Hikigaya will take (if only I could find that zen), but that he can find it in himself to take action. 

That’s the thing about life. As we get older things matter less. We have experienced time and seen how long it really is and how just how much life there really is. There is so much content made by adults about youth and this is the fundamental reason why. That immediacy, that lack of experience, and that belief in the now is what appeals to us and calls us back. They say youth is wasted on the young, but I’m not so sure that’s true. Those mistakes and feelings that only the young have are fit for that time. As adults what we envy and what we reminisce about is that sense of urgency. That thirst for meaning in the now, the sense of immediacy. I think that’s what makes these stories so attractive to adults, both to create and consume. (Also it makes us feel good to give advice to the youngsters)((Even if that advice is coming from a fictional character to another fictional character))(((Look we need to find something, somewhere, we’re old, our lives aren’t that exciting)))

I started this whole blog three years ago, in large part because I watched this show and completed my slow building manic breakdown. But, like with a lot of things, after a few months I got busy and just lost that motivation. It’s telling that once again this show has reinvigorated my spirit. Even knowing the outcome I found myself going through the same rhythms and felt those same emotions from the first time all over again. That old energy came back and I felt like writing again.

So, “why now?” you ask. Because this is the time. And my hope is that, even with all of the other things that I have going on, I can continue to keep writing. My challenge to myself is to post at least once a month. And when I’m struggling or unsure of if I want to continue with my writing I need to remember that now is a good time and that even if no one is reading, what’s important is what I choose to do and that I get something out of this process and can take forward concrete steps.