The 1st century Greek philosopher Epictetus once pondered, “Is freedom anything else than the right to live as we wish? Nothing else.” This brings me to peeing.
For millennia peeing has been an act of the purest relief. But now it is a time of panic. It’s a mad dash to get to the nearest toilet and then you are forced to aim as your pee has a forced destination. The tyranny of the toilet has gone on for too long! (To be clear poop is still a toilet activity.)
The greatest pee of my life happened in my 16th year. I was in the car with my grandparents and we were on our way back to Macon from Atlanta. I wanted to get back as fast as possible. Then I felt that most ancient yearning, that most irresistible call of nature. I had no intention of telling them to stop. I searched the car and found a small hand towel. Eureka! I surreptitiously looked at my grandparents and when I knew they weren’t paying attention I unburdened myself. Bliss I tell you, pure undiluted relief. I don’t know how long I peed, but I can tell you that for that moment my mind, body, and soul transcended this mortal plane. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve been trying to recapture that feeling ever since.
Since then I’ve been regularly searching out places to let nature take its course. The woods, off a porch, pools, the ocean, showers, sinks, even the side of a car once (don’t judge me it was at a gas station and the bathroom was occupied) all great experiences. Look around you, there is no limit to the places you can go… pee. There are no limits to the places where you can go pee.
I know there will be many that find this vile and disgusting. To those people, I look at you with pity. Free yourselves! Don’t let the man force your pee into porcelain. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK! Freedom is peeing and peeing is freedom.
Leave a comment below with the weirdest place you’ve ever peed.